what is divine?
how do our choices effect the divine outcome?
are we completley free?
what role does faith have in prayer? – in the sense of luke chapter 18 and the widow petitioning the unrighteous judge.

making unwise decisions burns lament into my heart.
i cannot run from it.
i cannot escape it.
i know what mistakes to avoid, but the fear that i will not even be
able to confront those decisions again drives me to madness; despair.

what is coincidence?
how does it play a role in decision making and the divine plan?
what is my ability to let reason overrule emotion in a specific
circumstance? – will i be able to correctly decide in the future?


Author: thephonewasmadeofjelly

reviving xanga thru wordpress (2002-the present).

3 thoughts on “”

  1. I believe God took our own sin into account when he formed our plans.We can make decisions, bad ones, good ones…but nothing is outside of His kowledge of what he desires for our lives.
    Example:  My boyfriend of almost 3 years broke up with me about a month and a half ago.  Was it what God wanted, like He said?  I do not know.  But examining the cercumstances….I have grown closer to God, and I have been used my Him in such unimaginable ways.  So why did we date for so long?  Was it because God knew that that was THE ONLY way to break me that hard.  Because then I wonder….was it my decision that we dated in the first place…or was it God…KNOWING that that was my the way to bring me to Him?  Or were we meant to be together all along—WE MESSED HIS PLAN UP—and He will fix it so that we get back together for a greater plan than we thought He had. 
    In all reality….I just am not sure.  These are some questions that I will find out one day.  I have faith in His will….and as long as I am FULLY following what He wants for my life….it is not just A PLAN…but THE PLAN that He desires for me.  One with completeness as He intended.  He always has our best interest at heart…this I truly believe….it is US that does not. 
    don’t know if any of that made sense…sorry.


  2. wow.  that is so odd.  crazy odd. 
    i believed we were going to get married too.  that is why this is so hard.  but i refuse to live my life in fear, disbelief, and bitterness.  Do I still love him?  uncontrollably.  We had planned our lives together.  That is what is making this trust in God so much stronger.  Because it is so hard.  I honestly do not know how to feel.  So I am depending on Christ to give me the strength to control all of what I cannot.  I felt like my world was over….but it is only beginning.  And if God wants us to be together….it will be done as long as I trust to follow Him where He leads.  Your concience is Him.  You know this.  Opportunities, however unexplained or unexpected will arise, and you will just know where to go.  He does not plan to leave you in the dark, but by coming closer to Him, you will understand more and more of His mercy and grace for your life. 
    All I can say is how honestly I do not know where to go from here.  And so I can have compassion for where you are at in life.  more than you know.  But how great of an opportunity we have, to know that the God of life can have fantastic plans for us!!
    it is good to hear from you.  Makes me feel not so alone in this.


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