10.17.2007; 14th and E. Carson, Pgh, Pa (if i wasn’t a calvinist, i’d hate women)
among your heart’s great durress, you want to scream, shout and dance
(huh?!) in your joy. this all-consuming joy that only shows its face in
those dark hours. it’s those days when you are brought so low that
there is only one to be reached out to, and in that great distress,
that horrible despair, even, is the one who ordained that misery –
those weaknesses – to fight for perfect glory. and in that is the great comfort.
months ago in this very coffee shop, you scribbled down those words
about all things being made new – from Death comes Life, right? right.
and in these tragedies (or so we see them) lie our daily-mini-deaths.
and borne out of those deaths are new mini-lives. and in the redemption
from that death, to this life – what joy!
in deepest despair one cries out – and in that cry, there is sustinance – that greatest joy.
foolishness: to look to the grandest times of sorrow + suffering with
the strongest sentiment of nostalgia + yearning. don’t you taste
redemption? it is near. and in fact, it is here. suffer again; there is
death begets life. sorrow begets only the purest of all joys.
here you are, young + naieve. what grand tragedy have you endured? you
are a fool to write such ugly words. you cannot fathom the heart-break
of the most awful tragedies. how can you so boldly proclaim that you yearn for
them? in those most tragic of kingdoms that you have found yourself
(though they know nothing of the depths of some – or most, for that
matter!) always sustained by the power borne of such
if you must boast and delight in anything, delight
in weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions and difficulties. when
you are weak, then you are strong.