Week 1


chaos and order

i have a lot of time at work to think and hopefully to learn something, so i listen to a lot of lectures and podcasts. I do wonder if this is any good for me. many saints have never gone to these great lengths of learning and i find myself asking if this is a consumer’s mentality. we are all conditioned by capitalism to consume more and more and more. now, i am not one opposed to capitalism, however, it its full excessive present dimension, i resist, at least to the best of my ability. it is an ongoing struggle.

today the gospel lesson was about the fool who built bigger barns and i see a lot of myself in him. i want to have reserves to draw from when we have an economic down-swing as is bound to happen sooner or later. but am i borrowing trouble from tomorrow by such thoughts? i don’t know how to think about these things properly. i have heard a priest say that we can buy our way into the kingdom of god – by spending everything we have on others.

i have a long way to go.